Control, Choice, and Comfort
I woke up this morning with the word "CONTROL" in my head. I had been dreaming, I think, about a needlepoint stitch and concept where every intersection of canvas is covered by a single tent stitch; this stitch is known as "basketweave". More about that later...
I was thinking about CONTROL and how it relates to needlepoint, and parenting, and our own lives as we navigate this time, "social distancing" because of COVID-19, the coronavirus.
Control the things we can control; pray about the things we can't.
Go with the flow; don't stress over things you can't control.
Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.
Sometimes, all of this is easier said, than done!
We can't control this virus - not most of us anyway, as individuals. We can't control the governor or school closures or the availability of toilet paper or hand sanitizer. As adults, most of us understand these facts but then react to them in our own way - some turn to prayer; some vent on social media; some refuse to comply with social distancing and go about their days as usual.
Our kids have even less control. They can't control the school closure, and for most of them it's AWFUL! Even those who thought this was going to be a cool "staycation" for a while have realized that it isn't cool. They miss their friends; they miss their teachers; they miss their sports teams and coaches, their music groups and conductors. They miss the routine and the CONTROL that they felt like they had over all of it (even though we all know who's really in control!). In reality, it was controlled for them, and they were ok with it. But they need to have control over something.
Remember when they were toddlers and they threw tantrums over the silliest things, like wanting to have the red plate for dinner instead of the blue plate, and the food is already at the table on the blue plate and we're not dirtying another plate and it doesn't really matter because it's just the color of the plate...! Or they took OFF their socks and threw them across the room because they wanted to wear the Elmo socks, not the Cookie Monster socks but the Elmo socks were in the washing machine and simply couldn't be worn again for the 8th day in a row! These toddlers were trying to learn how to control the things they can control. They didn't know what was reasonable or whether or not it really mattered. They only knew what was right in front of them: their dinner on the wrong plate or the wrong socks on their feet. Eventually, we gave them more control and they learned what was reasonable. They learned to make good choices and we learned which battles were worth fighting.
Now, our kids are older, but they're still kids. They're still learning to make good choices and learning how to react to situations they can't control. They are still looking to us, the adults in their lives, for example and guidance.
We are not in control of a lot. The news changes every day with more people diagnosed with COVID-19, more hospitals running out of masks and ventilators, more schools closing. We have to find the things we can control - and each of us will choose to control different parts of our experience.
Today, I have chosen to shower, put on "real" clothes (including my "Choose Happiness" t-shirt), and set a few goals for the day, even though it's Saturday! I feel empowered to face the day ahead because I have made some choices over the things I can control.
Although I would like to make all the choices for their day, too, my children need to have come control, too. They will choose what they wear, and probably what they eat, to a certain extent. I need to be sure they feel some control over the chaos. That control will give them power. It will give them strength and comfort, even if just for today.
Think about something you do well. If you're a musician, you may be able to play scales with your eyes closed...that's control. If you're a baker or home chef, you may be able to make a certain dish for your family, without a recipe, and get rave reviews every time...that's control. If you're an accountant, you get the spreadsheets to add up (because numbers don't lie!)...that's control. A major league pitcher aims to throw certain pitches...with control. A basketball player shoots for a particular free throw percentage...that's control. We all have something in our lives that we can expect to control. That control gives us comfort.
In needlepoint, the basketweave stitch covers the whole canvas, with one tent stitch covering each intersection of canvas. It is stitched with each subsequent stitch moving along the diagonal and when stitched properly, the lines of direction of the thread on the back of the canvas look like a woven basket, hence the name. It is one of the most basic stitches. An experienced stitcher can often turn to basketweave without much thought, because it becomes second nature... it doesn't require a lot of concentration and is something that is easy to CONTROL.
It is said that every canvas should have basketweave on it somewhere because "it gives the eye a place to rest." Among a sea of decorative stitches, basketweave is solid, filling every space, crossing every intersection. It is in this area of controlled basketweave that we can find comfort.
Choose to find something today that you can control well.
Help your children find something they can control.
Even using that word CONTROL will give them a sense of power and comfort.
I am going to find a needlepoint project that I will choose to stitch solely in basketweave, because that's something easy for me to control.
I was thinking about CONTROL and how it relates to needlepoint, and parenting, and our own lives as we navigate this time, "social distancing" because of COVID-19, the coronavirus.
Control the things we can control; pray about the things we can't.
Go with the flow; don't stress over things you can't control.
Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.
We can't control this virus - not most of us anyway, as individuals. We can't control the governor or school closures or the availability of toilet paper or hand sanitizer. As adults, most of us understand these facts but then react to them in our own way - some turn to prayer; some vent on social media; some refuse to comply with social distancing and go about their days as usual.
Our kids have even less control. They can't control the school closure, and for most of them it's AWFUL! Even those who thought this was going to be a cool "staycation" for a while have realized that it isn't cool. They miss their friends; they miss their teachers; they miss their sports teams and coaches, their music groups and conductors. They miss the routine and the CONTROL that they felt like they had over all of it (even though we all know who's really in control!). In reality, it was controlled for them, and they were ok with it. But they need to have control over something.
Remember when they were toddlers and they threw tantrums over the silliest things, like wanting to have the red plate for dinner instead of the blue plate, and the food is already at the table on the blue plate and we're not dirtying another plate and it doesn't really matter because it's just the color of the plate...! Or they took OFF their socks and threw them across the room because they wanted to wear the Elmo socks, not the Cookie Monster socks but the Elmo socks were in the washing machine and simply couldn't be worn again for the 8th day in a row! These toddlers were trying to learn how to control the things they can control. They didn't know what was reasonable or whether or not it really mattered. They only knew what was right in front of them: their dinner on the wrong plate or the wrong socks on their feet. Eventually, we gave them more control and they learned what was reasonable. They learned to make good choices and we learned which battles were worth fighting.
Now, our kids are older, but they're still kids. They're still learning to make good choices and learning how to react to situations they can't control. They are still looking to us, the adults in their lives, for example and guidance.
We are not in control of a lot. The news changes every day with more people diagnosed with COVID-19, more hospitals running out of masks and ventilators, more schools closing. We have to find the things we can control - and each of us will choose to control different parts of our experience.
Today, I have chosen to shower, put on "real" clothes (including my "Choose Happiness" t-shirt), and set a few goals for the day, even though it's Saturday! I feel empowered to face the day ahead because I have made some choices over the things I can control.
Although I would like to make all the choices for their day, too, my children need to have come control, too. They will choose what they wear, and probably what they eat, to a certain extent. I need to be sure they feel some control over the chaos. That control will give them power. It will give them strength and comfort, even if just for today.
Think about something you do well. If you're a musician, you may be able to play scales with your eyes closed...that's control. If you're a baker or home chef, you may be able to make a certain dish for your family, without a recipe, and get rave reviews every time...that's control. If you're an accountant, you get the spreadsheets to add up (because numbers don't lie!)...that's control. A major league pitcher aims to throw certain pitches...with control. A basketball player shoots for a particular free throw percentage...that's control. We all have something in our lives that we can expect to control. That control gives us comfort.
In needlepoint, the basketweave stitch covers the whole canvas, with one tent stitch covering each intersection of canvas. It is stitched with each subsequent stitch moving along the diagonal and when stitched properly, the lines of direction of the thread on the back of the canvas look like a woven basket, hence the name. It is one of the most basic stitches. An experienced stitcher can often turn to basketweave without much thought, because it becomes second nature... it doesn't require a lot of concentration and is something that is easy to CONTROL.
It is said that every canvas should have basketweave on it somewhere because "it gives the eye a place to rest." Among a sea of decorative stitches, basketweave is solid, filling every space, crossing every intersection. It is in this area of controlled basketweave that we can find comfort.
Choose to find something today that you can control well.
Help your children find something they can control.
Even using that word CONTROL will give them a sense of power and comfort.
I am going to find a needlepoint project that I will choose to stitch solely in basketweave, because that's something easy for me to control.
Very well said!
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